Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Intrusive Thoughts

Borderline Personality Disorder and Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are involuntary, unwanted thoughts, images, or impulses that enter a person’s mind. These unwanted thoughts can be distressing as they may involve irrational fears, violence, self-harm, or other thoughts that could be deemed inappropriate.

For example, someone might be walking along the pavement when they spot a large truck heading past them on the road. For most people, this wouldn’t elicit much thought. Yet someone might have an intrusive thought like “Jump out in front of that truck!” or “That truck is going to hit you!”

While intrusive thoughts can be alarming, they do not indicate a person’s true desires.

It’s natural for people to experience intrusive thoughts occasionally but people with anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are particularly prone to them. There are also many people with borderline personality disorder who report experiencing intrusive thoughts.

In this article, we’ll look more deeply into intrusive thoughts including why they occur, why people with BPD are prone to them, the dangers they possess, and how to cope with them. We’ll also share some of our readers’ experiences with intrusive thoughts.

What Causes Intrusive Thoughts?

The mind often fires off a wide range of thoughts, some of which are random, irrelevant, or disturbing. Many of these don’t go past the subconscious level, so you might not even realize you’re having these thoughts as they’re going on in the background of your mind. Occasionally though, these thoughts can bubble through to the surface.

These intrusive thoughts can include things like:

Harmful or violent thoughts.
Religious or moral thoughts.
Sexual thoughts.
Humiliation or shame thoughts.
Trauma-related thoughts.

There are several potential causes behind intrusive thoughts, although the most common ones are stress and anxiety. It’s also possible for biological factors such as hormonal shifts, physical illness/injury, or fatigue to cause intrusive thoughts.

It’s believed that intrusive thoughts may be linked to the brain’s “threat detection system”, which overacts in times of mental or physical stress. This is especially true for people with BPD as their brains often perceive threats where there aren’t any due to imbalances in parts of the brain and neurochemicals.

How Does BPD Exacerbate Intrusive Thoughts?

People with anxiety disorders, OCD, and PTSD tend to suffer from intrusive thoughts the most and each condition can co-occur with BPD, particularly anxiety disorders and PTSD. Intrusive thoughts can be troubling enough, but when you have BPD, these issues can become exacerbated.

When you have BPD, you often experience emotions much more intensely than other people, causing instability in many areas of your life. This can be both stressful and tiring. This creates a “perfect” breeding environment for intrusive thoughts.

People with BPD also tend to overthink and ruminate on things, creating a pattern of negative thoughts. Not only can this lead to intrusive thoughts, but it can also cause the person to dwell on those unwanted thoughts a lot more. Someone with better mental health might be able to brush off an intrusive thought and get on with their day while someone with BPD might do nothing but dwell on that thought for the rest of the day and believe that it makes them a terrible person, even though that is not the case.

The fear of abandonment and rejection is particularly strong in those with BPD, and this can often be the focus of intrusive thoughts. A relationship may be strong and then that fear of abandonment starts gnawing away in the back of the mind until an intrusive thought like “They’re going to leave me!” or “They don’t really love me!” pops up. Again, this would be an intrusive thought that most people would be able to brush off. But the person with BPD may begin to obsess over this thought until it starts to have a very real effect on their relationship.

Something else to consider when it comes to BPD and intrusive thoughts is the impulsive nature of the person with BPD. It can be difficult to tell the difference between an intrusive thought and an impulse, making it more likely that someone with BPD acts on an intrusive thought. This could put the person, or those around them, in significant danger.

Finally, many people with BPD have experienced trauma during their childhood. This makes the likelihood of trauma-related intrusive thoughts much higher. These unwanted thoughts can bring the trauma flooding back to the person, causing significant mental anguish.

Overall, BPD can make intrusive thoughts much more likely to occur, more intense, and much harder to brush off than it would be for someone else. They can also cause a lot more pain.

Coping With Intrusive Thoughts When You Have BPD

The first step to better coping with intrusive thoughts is to recognize them for what they are. Intrusive thoughts are unwanted and in no way represent how you would normally think or wish to act. Don’t judge yourself for having an intrusive thought; everyone has them, and it doesn’t mean that you are a bad person.

Beyond recognizing intrusive thoughts for what they are, several techniques might help you better cope with them. Experiment with each of the techniques below, see which works best for you, and practice them regularly.

Labeling the thought. Labeling the thought is much like the technique above. Recognize that the thought you’re having is an intrusive one and label it as such. Remind yourself that the thought is not a reflection of your desires or who you are as a person. You can even imagine yourself putting the thought in the bin, where it belongs.
Distract and refocus. Shift your attention away from the intrusive thought by engaging in a hobby or activity you enjoy. This could be something like reading a book, listening to music, exercising, or playing a video game.
Set time boundaries on rumination. If you’ve found yourself ruminating on an intrusive thought, set a time limit to this rumination. Give yourself five or ten minutes to think about the thought and then move on to something else. This works really well when paired with another technique such as distract and refocus.
Grounding techniques. Grounding techniques help bring you back to the present moment when you’re having intrusive thoughts or any kind of thoughts that are overwhelming you. An example of a grounding technique would be 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. In this technique, you look around the place you’re in and count 5 things you can see, saying each thing out loud. Then 4 things you can feel. Then 3 things you can hear. Next, 2 things you can smell. And finally, 1 thing you can taste.
Journaling. Writing down your intrusive thoughts in a journal (or just a notepad) externalizes the thought and can take away the power it has over your mind.

When To Seek Help

If intrusive thoughts are having a significant negative effect on you then it is time to consider talking to a mental health professional, such as a therapist. A therapist may be able to help you with the underlying causes of the intrusive thoughts you experience, such as stress, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. There are also techniques taught within therapy that can directly help you when you’re experiencing intrusive thoughts. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy can benefit someone experiencing distressing thoughts.

You may also want to consider medication. Anti-anxiety medication can help to reduce both the frequency and intensity of intrusive thoughts.

Even if you don’t believe that your intrusive thoughts are having a significant effect on you, it still might be worth talking to a mental health professional. While intrusive thoughts aren’t typically dangerous, the risk is heightened when you have BPD.

Our Readers’ Experiences With Intrusive Thoughts

When we asked our readers and followers on social media to share their experiences with intrusive thoughts we received a huge response, which shows just how common intrusive thoughts are for people with BPD.

Thank you to everyone who shared their experiences with us. Here is a selection of the messages we received, as always we’ve changed the names to protect people’s privacy when asked.

“I get a lot of intrusive thoughts, especially when I’m among groups of people which I find overwhelming. They can still occur even when I’m in a safe environment. I have a friend who I visit about once a month. She’s married, has five children, and a large number of pets. At my home, it’s just me by myself, so it always feels very busy and hectic to me at her house. I’ll often get intrusive thoughts while I’m there just because of how loud everything is. I’ll have the most random thoughts like wanting to pull the TV off the wall or wanting to pick up the baby and just put him outside. It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me that I can’t even go to my friend’s house without these weird thoughts entering my brain.” – Emily D.

“I have some very violent intrusive thoughts towards random men that I think are a result of the abusive childhood I endured. If I’m driving past a man who’s out walking his dog, sometimes I’ll get the thought to swerve and run him over. Or I’ll be in the kitchen at work and suddenly get the thought to grab a knife and throw it at a male co-worker. These are all people who’ve done nothing wrong to me but I know it’s the association with someone who abused me that causes these thoughts. It’s something I’m working on through therapy but it’s not been a quick fix for me.” – Myra J.

“My intrusive thoughts used to be really bad. They were related to my trauma and seeing similar things happen to other people. I found that trying to push the thoughts away only made me obsess about them more. The only thing that worked for me was DBT, accepting the thoughts, and labeling them for what they were. I’d repeat “That’s just an intrusive thought. It doesn’t mean anything. Everything’s okay,” to myself a few times until the thought and feelings passed. I still get intrusive thoughts from time to time but I can deal with them much better now.” – Darren A.

“As someone who’s been diagnosed with OCD and BPD, intrusive thoughts are a frequent occurrence. I have to be very careful to avoid my triggers, especially if I’m tired or feeling down. A lot of the time I feel like my brain is actively working against me, doing everything it can to make my life difficult and miserable. I don’t want to have to be in a constant fight with my brain but I don’t have much of a choice until I can afford the treatment I need.” – Chantelle R.

“I get so many weird little intrusive thoughts about accidents happening to me. If I’m in a car, I’ll suddenly picture a crash. If I’m walking under a bridge, I’ll imagine it collapsing on top of me. If I’m sat on a chair, I’ll hear a voice in my ear saying the chair is going to break and drop me on my ass. I’ve pretty much come to consider them background noise at this point. They don’t get to me as much as they used to when I was younger, sometimes they even make me laugh at how absurd the potential accident is. Who else but me would imagine a tree falling on them during a walk in the park?” – Kendra M.

“I have a common intrusive thought about completely losing control of myself. It’s like I’m watching a movie about myself where I just start going crazy, tipping things over, throwing things, hitting people, and there’s nothing I can do to stop myself. It always shakes me up and makes me worry that one day it’ll happen for real.” – Harriet K.

If you’d like to share your own experiences with intrusive thoughts, please use the comment box below or visit us on our BPD forums.