Jake Asher
Stories of Hope and Recovery From People With BPD
We recently published an article about people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) hitting rock bottom. While it’s important to highlight the significant struggles of living with BPD, it’s just as important to show that there is hope and that things can and will get better.
That is why this article will focus on stories of hope and recovery from people with BPD. These are real stories from people* who’ve been diagnosed with BPD and gone on to make significant improvements in their lives or even become fully recovered.
*Names have been changed to protect anonymity.
“I recovered after two years of DBT. I feel so much better than I used to. My emotions don’t control me the way they once did, and I feel much more stable.
“I worked hard in and out of therapy. There was a lot about the way I led my life that I had to clean up. Along with DBT, I found that the ‘boring stuff’ like healthy eating and exercise helped a lot too.
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“The shift in mindset that I experienced was profound. Slowly but surely the layers of pain and vulnerability were stripped away from me.
“On my last therapy visit, my therapist said she was so proud of how I went into therapy and gave it all I had. It was incredibly validating to hear that my efforts had been noticed, but the truth was that I felt like I had no other choice. Without therapy, I don’t like to think where I’d be right now.
“There are still times I have minor wobbles, but I consider these to be part of the recovery process. And I wouldn’t trade where I am now in my life for anything.” – Anya C.
“I’m not fully recovered from BPD but I was officially diagnosed last year and the diagnosis terrified me.
“In my early adulthood, I began to figure out that my family life was abnormal. My father likely has BPD but never went to a doctor. So we all lived in fear because if he got mad, he’d become abusive and then just disappear for weeks at a time.
“I saw how wrong things were when I started spending more time with my boyfriend’s family. They were kind, and caring, and showed love easily. By contrast, my family was cold. We never said ‘I love you,’ hugged, or showed each other any kind of affection. We were just not that kind of family.
“Some of my father’s bad habits were passed on to me. I was hyper-sensitive to the slightest bit of perceived criticism and my moods would swing wildly. I put a lot of this down to my periods but I noticed that my boyfriend was becoming scared of me. He eventually left me which absolutely tore my life apart (looking back, I certainly can’t blame him for it). I felt like a massive hole had been ripped through my chest.
“Those feelings persisted for quite some time until I eventually went to see a doctor, expecting to be prescribed some antidepressants. I gave a pretty honest account of where I was mentally to him, only slightly sanitized, and he looked a lot more concerned than I expected. Rather than just prescribing me pills, he recommended a therapist to me.
“I put it off for a while but things just got worse so eventually I did see the therapist. After a few sessions, I was diagnosed with BPD.
“About six months on, I’ve started to turn things around. I fixed some broken friendships and made new ones too. I’ve moved away from my family. While I’ve not cut them out completely, I don’t let them occupy a lot of my head space. I use my DBT skills all the time. At first, it felt weird. Over time, I learned which ones helped me the most. The PLEASE skills really help me keep my moods steady.
“I still deal with BPD symptoms and I know I’m not fully recovered. I’m still too sensitive and my self-identity isn’t fully formed yet. sometimes. But now I understand why and have ways to help myself when the darkness tries to take over.” – Kathryn S.
“I was incorrectly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in my early twenties and faced many difficult years as a result. All aspects of my life were in tatters. It wasn’t until I was in my late twenties that I was diagnosed with BPD, and I worked hard to learn everything about it. I spent two years doing all the research I could on BPD and how my childhood trauma made me think in certain ways. Those two years were a big challenge. The first year, I was on strong antidepressants, while attending regular therapy sessions. I spent a lot of time learning about BPD, how thought patterns develop, and how trauma affects people.
“I had to learn a new way of thinking as my old way was making me miserable. I’d assumed that everyone was out to get me and every bit as toxic as the people in my past. I needed to learn that not everyone is bad or good and that there are shades of grey within us all.
“It’s been a hard road, but I believe that anyone can overcome BPD. It’s about understanding your life story, how trauma changes your mind, and staying aware every day. Many with BPD had to grow up too fast and missed out on learning healthy ways to live. But, you can learn new ways to think.
“I now no longer meet the criteria to be diagnosed as having BPD. I know how to set boundaries and respect other people’s boundaries. I can communicate well with my partner. I don’t get overcome with emotions at the slightest thing. I’ve even gotten out of debt and built a growing business for myself.” – Brandon L.
“Having been diagnosed in 2022 and undergoing consistent therapy since then, I’ve found myself in a much better place, especially when it comes to handling relationships. I consider myself extremely fortunate because my doctor and therapist were both great. I know not everyone is that lucky.
“Medication has played a role in my recovery, not directly for BPD, but to help lift my energy levels during depressive episodes. I discovered that keeping to a minimal dose was crucial for maintaining stable moods and energy, allowing me to work on other aspects of my life. I also found out that my thyroid was underactive and am on medication for that, which has also helped boost my energy levels and overall stability.
“When it comes to relationships, particularly friendships, I’ve noticed significant progress. I’ve become more assertive in expressing my needs and concerns, moving away from past patterns of being passive-aggressive or cutting people off abruptly.
“However, that’s not to say that all my symptoms are gone completely. I’ve had a couple of relapses of overindulging in alcohol (which brings out the worst in me), triggered by an extremely stressful situation.
“Overall, I’d say I’m managing well. I still have the odd bout of feeling empty and lonely, but I find myself generally content. The challenging days are far more manageable than before.” – Mariya M.
“I was diagnosed with BPD in my early twenties but didn’t take the diagnosis seriously at all. As a result, my 20s were marked by excessive drinking, drug use, abusive relationships, unsatisfying jobs, multiple DUIs, lost friendships, and self-destructive behavior.
“It took a real low point in my life to decide to try and turn things around.
“I’ve made significant strides towards improvement over the last few years. My journey through therapy and medication, initially to tackle depression and anxiety, has evolved. Believing I was “cured”, I prematurely halted my treatment and medications, only to face a resurgence of issues threatening my progress. This challenge led me to adopt a more targeted approach toward managing my BPD. Accepting my BPD diagnosis has been transformational, and has given me a sense of empowerment and purpose that I didn’t have before.” – Kellen S.
A HUGE thank you to everyone kind enough to share their stories with us. If you’d like to share your story of recovery, we’d love to hear from you in the comment box below!
